Hello everyone and welcome. My name is Christine Dye, and I'm an ADD mom. You may wonder what an ADD mom is. When I say, "ADD mom", I'm referring to moms, like me, who have the personality type that struggles with many of the issues associated with Attention Deficit Disorder, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD). We don't necessarily have a full blown diagnose-able case of ADD, but we have many of those associated personality traits. I have become convinced that many of us just have that brain type, and while creativity and enthusiasm comes naturally for us, executive function, follow through, and a number of other skills important for home management do not. You know who we are. We're the ones with the messy house, running ten minutes late, and asking for another copy of that lost parent permission form. Some days we are wearing a skirt because all our pants are in the laundry basket (or, more likely in a heap on the floor somewhere beside the laundry basket.) And, we're probably looking for our car keys or asking to borrow your phone because we left ours home or forgot to charge it. Now don't get me wrong. We're actually really good moms (minus the home management skills). We can help with homework, kiss owies better, get a teenager to talk to us, know why our preteen is crying and design awesome Halloween costumes. We bake cookies, are game for elaborate science projects, and usually just know when a child needs a conversation with Mom. And we often come up with pretty good advice. Truth be told, many organized, dependable people love and maybe even envy us a little. (That is, when they can put up with us, of course.)
The problem is, that we struggle with executive function and other skills and traits associated with regulating our attention. Studies are showing that some of us are actually not making the neurotransmitters that help us either sustain or reign in, our attention. Our brains, however, are very creative and refreshingly optimistic, but those never-ending ideas seem to not know when to stop. We often end up starting big unrealistic chaos-accumulating projects, but then have a nearly impossible time sustaining enough interest to finish it to completion. Executive functions, meaning those skills that actually execute-- organizing, planning, prioritizing, and completing -- are very difficult for us.
When it comes to the life of being a Mom, that's a very big problem because moms are generally expected to not only manage our own lives, but to manage the lives of our children and often husband as well. We often define our value as a mom and as a person by our ability, or rather inability, to do this well. Discouragement and self loathing is a battle that many of us ADD moms fight our whole lives. Which leads to not only more chaos at home, but pretty soon even our strengths get lost under the piles. We begin to doubt we have any value at all and that bright light of who we are grows dim.
If this is your personality type, too, I'm writing this blog for you. I've been an ADD mom for 28 years. I have ten children who's current ages range from 28 to 4. In those years I have learned some tricks and skills that have worked me. I want to tell my story of how I struggled with these ADD personality traits in trying to manage my home. I want to share what I have learned that have worked for me, and laugh with you as I also share the ones that didn't. I am also a licensed Social Worker with a Bachelor of Social Work degree and have studied and read a lot about ADD/ADHD. My prayer is that I will be able to reach some other ADD moms and make a difference in your lives. Let's us ADD moms stick together.
